Senful Sunday 2

“You know your brother’s birthday is coming up,” Nakita spoke. She called herself reminding her daughter this every year, but Neicey knew. Nolan was her only sibling and she loved him dearly, but she liked to keep her distance.

Sighing, she poured some of the batter into the skillet. “I know, ma. He is my only brother.”

“I’m just reminding you, is all. We’re having a little get together at the house and I’d love to see your face. It’s been how long?” she asked, already knowing the answer, but wanted Neicey to say it. Nakita wanted her to hear the amount of time she had gone without visiting her family.

“Two years,” Neicey replied with a suck of her teeth and roll of her eyes.

“You don’t think that’s a long time?”

“I don’t, actually. People go decades without even talking to their family, and they live in the same state. Hell, in the same neighborhood. You know I love ya’ll; it’s just best if I stayed away.”

“Best for who?”

The line went quiet, and Nakita already knew her daughter was ready to hang up. Neicey always did when the conversations got too intense. She could never handle them, same with her counseling sessions. Dr. Fallone would see her a lot more, if Neicey could handle the pressure of what she was dealing with. If she could learn to confront her skeletons at the door, instead of pushing them back inside the closet, she’d be good. But, she hadn’t gotten to that point in her life yet.

“Ma,” she said sternly. “Please don’t start this shit. You and I both know how this phone call will end if you keep pressuring me. It’s best for me and anyone I want it to be good for. Now, how was your week?”

“If we’re not going to ever address the real issue, then we can forget about the small talk. This always happens,” Nakita said, not wanting to stay on the phone any longer.

Pulling the phone from her ear, Neicey wished like hell her mother could see her face in the moment. “You want to talk about real issues, Nakita? Because we can most definitely go there!”

She didn’t mean to holler, but her feelings were getting fucked with and her mother, of all people, knew what triggered her. Slamming the pan she had in her hand on the counter, Sen hollered her name to see what was going on, but she ignored him. She wanted to hear what response Nakita had for her, since she started this argument.

“Neicey,” Nakita said softly, voice filled with emotion. “I didn’t mean to upset you, love. It’s difficult for me not being able to see my only daughter, you know?”

Neicey quickly swiped the tear that fell down her cheek and closed her eyes. She was going to curse Erica out for having her go see Dr. Fallone. Ever since her first counseling session, she had been a mushy mess, crying and shit, when Fallone told her to be in tune with her emotions. She most definitely was now and hated it some days. Today was one of those days.

Though she knew her mama would hate hearing the words, she didn’t know what else to say, but what she was feeling, what she had always felt. “You made it difficult.”

Nakita choked back on a cry, and three beeps could then be heard in her ear. Her mama had hung up, which never happened. Neicey was usually the one to disconnect the call because she was tired of the conversation. Shaking her head, she pulled up their text thread and sent her a message, letting her know she loved her. She did love her mother and always would, but she wanted to do it from a distance. It was what was best.

Feeling horrible about making her mama cry, Neicey was banging dishes around and slamming cabinets. She needed to release some frustration and, since she wouldn’t be going to the studio until later in the day, the kitchen appliances were going to have to do.

“Shanice!” Sen hollered from the top of the steps, waiting for a reply.

“What!”

“Bring yo ass here and don’t what me!” he hollered back, before walking back into their bedroom. Had he known she was just arguing with her mama, he wouldn’t have clicked on her like that, but he had no clue.

Inhaling a deep breath, Neicey removed the now burnt pancake from the skillet, turned the stove off, and tossed the pan in the sink. Sen could make his own breakfast because she was clearly in no state to do so. Taking her sweet time, she walked up the steps that led to their bedroom. Sen was not about to work her damn nerves this morning. She wasn’t going to let him.

Stepping into the bedroom with nothing but his wife beater and some house shoes on, Sen licked his lips. He forgot what he was about to say that quick. Even with the mug present on her face and messy ponytail at the top of her head, Sen still found her fine as ever.

“What?” she asked, when he didn’t say anything.

“Why you down there banging shit around like you got an attitude or something? You got something you need to get off yo’ chest?”

Leaning against the door frame, Neicey asked herself if she was ready to let Sen see this side of her. Sure, she was hiding it, but it was becoming harder every day to keep it under wraps. Taking in her man’s morning appearance, Neicey inwardly smiled. His hair was a crinkled mess from the braids she had taken down the night before. He was showing off his tattooed body in nothing but a pair of boxers and had the nerve to be laid back in the bed with his hands behind his head. He was too much for her, but she loved him. God, did she love him.

Sensing that Neicey wasn’t going to answer his question, Sen swung his legs from the bed and placed them on the ground. “Come here. The fuck is going on with you?”

Neicey felt herself about to break down right there, but she shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. She wasn’t ready to let Sen in on her closet of skeletons just yet. Instead, she was ready to run away from him, as far away as he would let her.

“I think we need a break.”

The words were whispered almost inaudible, and Sen surely thought he had heard her wrong. Pushing himself closer to the end of the bed, he held his hand behind his ear and leaned forward.

“You said what? Repeat that for me.”

“I think we need a break. I, need a break.”

Nodding his head, Sen popped his knuckles. He was trying to tell himself to remain calm. That Neicey was just fucking around with him, but his brain couldn’t comprehend what his heart was telling him. He felt it in his soul that he was about to do some dumb shit that he couldn’t take back and was surely going to regret. Before he did, though, he wanted to give Neicey one more chance to explain what the fuck she was saying.

“A break? What the fuck is that? You tired of your job or some shit? That’s the only break you getting around this mufucka, so explain what you tryna’ say, before I flip.”

Sen’s fists were balled up and Neicey knew, right then, there was no going back. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings because of her issues either, so she had to make a decision and quick. The longer she remained quiet, the more Sen thought about what lie he was going to have to tell everyone when she came up missing.

DROPPING AT MIDNIGHT!